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Chad's Journals

11/27/2014

Tomorrow, it will be five years since Chad died. As my Dad wrote me tonight, "5 years...another reminder of the relentless passage of time. My sense of sorrow and loss has not really diminished correspondingly…."

So as I think of Chad tonight, I am publishing the first in a series of excerpts from his diaries. He spent a lot of time thinking about how his life could make a difference for others, and one message he wanted to share was the importance of getting the most out each day.

This first passage is undated, but found at the back of the diary he started on December 29, 2001, as pictured above.

~Jennifer Warren

Life's eternal struggle is to be totally content with every day of your life. This is possible only by choosing the right path for you. Do something you love while earning a living is how I will live. I don't think I've understood that, nor does 80% of the population. Whatever I choose, let my hair grow long and stress be limited to where the next vacation will be.

Publish this book when the time is right. "Everyone has a story, this is mine. I am not famous, just a regular guy trying to live life to its fullest."

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The most difficult time of my life

1/4/2002

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The stay in the hospital was the most difficult time of my life. I was quarantined to my room for 23 days and, I might add, there was no shower or bath in the room. Each day felt longer than the previous and of course I began to get weaker each day also. My day in the hospital would consist of a nurse coming in at least every hour to check

I find it harder to talk about the past because I’m feeling ready to move on and this makes me remember the bad times.

on me. After a while I looked forward to a nurse coming in. I had plenty of visitors, usually in the evening. Of course, Katharine was there plenty, and she just being there got me through it all. I enjoyed my daily visits from my parents which were short but very important to me. They would always bring me food that my stomach could handle. I stopped getting the trays half way through my stay. Some days all I could eat was ice cream and popsicles. I tried hard to keep eating because if I didn’t, they would start me on intravenous feeding. You would have a much easier go of things if you could keep eating through it all.

I had so many chemicals running through me, I didn’t even realize it till now how long they take to wear off. My transplant was five months ago and it has only been this past month that I’ve really started to feel like me again. I find it harder to talk about the past because I’m feeling ready to move on and this makes me remember the bad times.

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The Transplant

1/1/2002

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My time of just living each day doing what ever came to me was coming to an end. I was going into the hospital for some unknown amount of time and a much longer recovery period. I was told I was to be out of commission for a year, which seemed unreal to me.

I couldn’t bear to enter the hospital that day, but part of me wanted to get on with it. The other part of me wanted to hop on my motorbike with Katharine on the back, and ride away.

Chad and Katharine on his motorbike two weeks before he went into the hospital for his first bone marrow transplant.

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Waiting for a Donor

12/30/2001

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It was a very strange time while I waited for a donor. For some reason, I was never worried that a donor may never be found. I knew I had at least three months of taking each day and living them to their fullest. I developed an enormous appetite from the steroids and I looked forward to every meal. I also began playing golf almost daily. I would drive my girlfriend to work every morning at 7am and that’s when my day began. I would clean the house then find someone to go to brunch with. Then I would either golf or go on long motorcycle rides. I continued working out, using much lighter weights and going at a pace that I felt my body could handle.

After some time passed I began to accept the fact that death can happen at any time to anyone. I may be staring down the barrel of the gun, but it hasn’t gone off.

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The Diagnosis

12/29/2001

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It has been nearly 4 1/2 months since my bone marrow transplant. I’ve been given many books to read and journals to write in, but chose today to start my journal. I guess I wasn’t ready to deal with all that has gone on, even though that is all that I have been doing. Now I suppose I’m well enough to express my thoughts and feelings on paper.

So much has happened, it's hard to know where to start, but I'm just going to let it flow.

My transplant was to hopefully happen in August if they find a donor. That left me almost three months to enjoy every minute of every day.

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Chad's Journals

The most difficult time of my life

The Transplant

Waiting for a Donor

The Diagnosis

Chad Warren

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