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Numb

11/19/2009

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I lay there emotionless and exhausted while they stick me, sit me up, sit me down, replace bandages, shoot saline up my nose, fill me full of fluids while trying to take some out. Almost everyday I will be going in to the hospital - one day for hemodialysis the next for a multiple myeloma drug called Velcaid. I will begin taking high dose steroids every few days in conjuction with another mm drug called Thalidomide which I will take daily. This is not going to be easy with a bad heart and failing kidneys. I'm grateful something is happening but frightened to be at this stage. Things happpen so quickly and right now there isn't the time or energy to be worried about much of anything. I am not myself and may not be for a little while to come. Having a shower and making it down to the car where my dad waits for me each day takes it all out of me. I'm having trouble holding a conversation but deep down I know what I'm doing. I'm preserving myself, storing up my energy so I can continue to fight another day.

Posted by Chad Warren at 11:17 PM

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    Me, Myself and Myeloma

    Chad's blog, Me, Myself and Myeloma, first appeared via Blogger on October 30, 2009. It has been recreated here to make sure it always has a home. 

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